I'm afraid to be loved, because I have low self-esteem.

EXACTLY. I'm going to guess and say you all thought, "WHAT THE F--K?" when you read that, just like I did when I read it. It came from a "closure letter" from my ex. Apparently, those are his thoughts on why I booted his sorry ass to the curb. Now, I'm not one to air my dirty laundry...but I will air someone else's. And according to his letter, I'm still in love with him and I don't even know it. To answer those questions, YES, I told him multiple times that I wasn't. I guess he just wasn't so smart afterall.

According to him, the following reasons weren't legitimate for me to dump him:

~ Doesn't shower regularly
~ Eats all my food
~ Doesn't do shit
~ Breaks lawn chairs and toilet seats because of weight issues
~ Talks nonstop about (snooze) school, and barely acknowledges a world outside of that
~ Has no real life experiences; can only discuss movies, books, sitcoms, computer games and cool things his friends have done

Awesome. What on earth was I thinking? How could I even think about walking out on such a gem of a man?

According to him, none of that mattered. Deep down, I have low self esteem. I'm afraid to be loved. HUH??? That doesn't even make SENSE! And since my time is limited and the year is almost done, for the sake of the blog I'll put that all aside and bring up a new point, now that I'm a free (or rather, "single") woman:

Hotness Scale based on STDS:

Chlamydia Hot - Think Chandler (Matthew Perry) from "Friends". Hot enough where you're cool with catching it, because 7 days of antibiotics later and you're in the clear. Plus, he's generally a good time.

UTI Hot - Think Johnny Depp. Definitely worth the pain and discomfort, but really, you only did it more out of curiosity than anything else.

Herpes Hot - This one is George Clooney. You're perfectly fine with catching it because when it's all said and done, you can still say you banged George Clooney.

AIDS Hot - Jesus Christ. (bear with me) I can't really think of anyone worth sleeping with if you knew you would catch AIDS...so I would have to say the Son of God. If nothing else, at least you've covered your bases. Sleeping with him is like slipping the hostess at Perkins a $100 bill for a window seat - you're covered, no worries. It's Jesus Christ for crying out loud!

I guess the point of this blog is to bring to light one very important thing: You have to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance.

Don't say you never learned anything from me.