I'm sitting on my couch, listening to the same song over and over. I feel like I'm 15 again, except my sister isn't here to bitch me out (Do you HAVE to listen to that song a million times in a row?!?!?)
The screen door is open and the crickets are rocking out. It's that time of year when everyone is back in school and no one is taking any more time off from work. It's dark when I wake up and there's a chill in the air when I walk my dog. Plus...the man in my life has gone back to school, which has thrown me back into the awkward dance of the "Long distance relationship."
The past few years I've managed to date people who lived approximately 50 minutes away, at the very least. It's safe to say I've grown accustomed to being alone in relatinships. So of course, it was no surprise that I started dating a guy last year who, 3 months into it, went from living 45 minutes away to picking up and moving 4 1/2 hours away for grad school. Geez Louise. Good thing, right? I was beginning to feel crowded, as my last boyfriend not only lived an hour away, but was in an entirely different state. So yeah...going from 45 minutes to 4+ hours away? Impeccable timing sir.
Here's where the awkwardness kicks in: I enjoy having him around. I also enjoy being alone. Crazy conflict happening.
I like walking around in sweatpants and a tank top that hasn't been washed in...who knows when. If I want to leave a dirty pot soaking in the sink for two days, I can and not feel lazy. If the temperature plummets to 71 outside, I can turn the heat on and not have to worry about making anyone sweat. If I want to blast the radio (country music, twang twang) during my 5:30am shower, I crank that sucker up. I can burp anytime, as loud as I want. And finally, to quote Sandra Bullock - "I have full control of the remote; very important." Medical oddities on Discovery Health? Where's the popcorn? Take today for example: I ate Oreos for dinner. And yes, it WAS awesome.
Basically...when he's at school, I become a pseudo-homeless person, and I admit, I kinda like it. Okay, I like it a lot.
I've heard people say you hit a certain age where you become set in your ways. I think there's something to be said for that. I'm preparing to get married when several of my friends are writing up divorce papers. I'm almost 32. They all got hitched when they were in their early twenties. So who's acting foolish? Are they suffering from residual effects of capricious youth? Am I out of my mind for 'fixing' a life that isn't broken? I guess I just want to make sure that if the pot doesn't get washed because I'm too busy learning to burp the alphabet, I'll still have a person willing to let me keep my toes warm under his butt, even if it is 75 degrees in the house.
I think I'll play this song one more time.
If you made a list of the reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
