Another one bites the dust.

That's all she wrote, people. The fat lady has sung. It's over. Gone. Elvis has left the building. Stop asking me if I'm ever going back - I'm not. 2009 is wrapped up, put in storage, locked up and the key has been thrown.

2010 has got to be better, because really, it can't possibly get any worse.

Earlier this week I almost ran over the CEO of my company with my car. All I can say is, for an older man that dude can hussle! I stopped just in time, but there was a part of me that regretted not wiping him out, if only for the story. It would have made for the best, "Guess how I was fired?" tale in the world.

So imagine my surprise when earlier today he swung by my cube. Not just mine, but every.single.cubicle...to say Merry Christmas. What a guy. After he shook my hand and moved on, I told my coworkers he whispered, "Thank you for the gift of life," in my ear. Two out of five believed me. That's enough for me.

But anyhooties...

A lot has happened this year. There were a few deaths, there was a birth...a very brief engagement slipped in there and then the break-up. A few people lost some bets on me with that, so a general "I'm sorry" goes out to you guys. But in my best efforts to find that silver lining, I've kick-started a joke about it, telling people that the day of my break-up my credit score actually went up 100 points (that legal union would've tossed 125K in debt on my financial plate - yuck). Short of turning to stripping and pimping (neither of which I am very good at), there wasn't any way that shit was getting paid off much before the year 2060. Thank God for small favors, long distance, and random mini-strokes.

In the end, I think we should all look back at 2009 and try to remember only the positive. Aside from the obvious "weepy" stuff of being thankful for family, friends and jobs, I'm pretty goddamn grateful for beer, dive bars and small towns.

As Billy Currington sang, "God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy." No truer words have ever been spoken.

Goodnight 2009, and I'll catch you on the flip side!