I lost my job on Thursday. Well, I didn't exactly LOSE it. I know exactly where it went: Boston. My company is shutting down my office and absorbing our operations in the home office. Wait, it gets better.
We were given the option: take a transfer (to Boston, or another out-of-state office that is staying open), or find yourself another job by the time they close the doors on June 30.The craziest part of this whole thing is that every-single-person I told responded the same way: You're kidding!!! Well, no, for as FUNNY as this is, I'm not. My jokes are typically funnier. But it made me realize two things: 1. I must be a pretty heavy-duty ball buster, and 2. I can use this opportunity to change careers.
I've been doing insurance for 12 years (Feb marks my anniversay). How does the saying go? It's like riding a bike...? No, wait. It's like Lance Armstrong riding a bike....he doesn't have any other skills. Yeah, that's it. It's kinda like that. I don't know how to do anything else. Well, as far as "things you can legally do in public and get paid for" are concerned. Huh. I'll figure it out, I s'pose.
In the meantime, I'm having a lot of fun with this at work. One of my coworkers, I'll call him Richard Grabber(to protect his identity) asked me to email my resume to him, since he's had this job for the past 26 years and doesn't know where to start with resume-making. I verify his email and say, "You're the only Richard Grabber in the company, right?" He says, "Yup!" and then I say, "Not for long, buddy!" And for a moment, I think he got mad, but then he remebered I was in the same boat.
So, we get news we're on our way out. The next day my team had a conference call with our Boston team (the eternally employed group). We beep into the call and they welcome us with a, "Hey, the Berwyn office just joined us!" I then said, "Yeah, we're one of the offices that won the lottery!" I heard someone whisper on Boston's end of the phone, "What did she say?" So I repeated myself. SILENCE on the phone. The people in the room with me smirked. So I cleared my throat and asked, "Too soon?"
It's amazing how people completely lose all humor during times like this. Some people around my office look like they're going to kill themselves. I could never do that. I like myself too much. Plus, I'm uber funny. I should be able to make myself laugh. Or is humor like tickling, and you can't tickle yourself? Maybe YOU can't, but I can. That's like my X-Men power: Self Tickling. They call me Giggles.
In any case, I'll leave you with some Office Space quotey goodness: "We've noticed you've been missing a lot of work lately." "To be honest, Bob, I wouldn't say I've missed it."
We were given the option: take a transfer (to Boston, or another out-of-state office that is staying open), or find yourself another job by the time they close the doors on June 30.The craziest part of this whole thing is that every-single-person I told responded the same way: You're kidding!!! Well, no, for as FUNNY as this is, I'm not. My jokes are typically funnier. But it made me realize two things: 1. I must be a pretty heavy-duty ball buster, and 2. I can use this opportunity to change careers.
I've been doing insurance for 12 years (Feb marks my anniversay). How does the saying go? It's like riding a bike...? No, wait. It's like Lance Armstrong riding a bike....he doesn't have any other skills. Yeah, that's it. It's kinda like that. I don't know how to do anything else. Well, as far as "things you can legally do in public and get paid for" are concerned. Huh. I'll figure it out, I s'pose.
In the meantime, I'm having a lot of fun with this at work. One of my coworkers, I'll call him Richard Grabber(to protect his identity) asked me to email my resume to him, since he's had this job for the past 26 years and doesn't know where to start with resume-making. I verify his email and say, "You're the only Richard Grabber in the company, right?" He says, "Yup!" and then I say, "Not for long, buddy!" And for a moment, I think he got mad, but then he remebered I was in the same boat.
So, we get news we're on our way out. The next day my team had a conference call with our Boston team (the eternally employed group). We beep into the call and they welcome us with a, "Hey, the Berwyn office just joined us!" I then said, "Yeah, we're one of the offices that won the lottery!" I heard someone whisper on Boston's end of the phone, "What did she say?" So I repeated myself. SILENCE on the phone. The people in the room with me smirked. So I cleared my throat and asked, "Too soon?"
It's amazing how people completely lose all humor during times like this. Some people around my office look like they're going to kill themselves. I could never do that. I like myself too much. Plus, I'm uber funny. I should be able to make myself laugh. Or is humor like tickling, and you can't tickle yourself? Maybe YOU can't, but I can. That's like my X-Men power: Self Tickling. They call me Giggles.
In any case, I'll leave you with some Office Space quotey goodness: "We've noticed you've been missing a lot of work lately." "To be honest, Bob, I wouldn't say I've missed it."
What you need to do is come up with a show concept and co-host a morning show with me!
ReplyDeleteYou think I'm kidding? I'm really not.
Think about it.