The bright side to knowing I won’t be working in my current office in a few months (aside from getting away from the unnatural stinkbug infestation) is getting away from the creepiest dude I’ve ever met. Again, I’ll call him “Richard” to protect his identity.
Quick physical description: Richard is 52 years old, very Irish, gawky skinny and has a face that looks like it was set on fire and put out with an ice pick. What makes him creepier is the fact that he can’t help but play with his balls whenever he talks to me. I’ve made a mental note of it: He doesn’t do it when he talks to anyone else. But with me? Man, he’s one nut shy of a full-on juggling act.
It not only grosses me out, but it infuriates me. There’s absolutely no reason for it. And just yesterday, while he was sitting down, facing me (spread eagle, of course), he did a full-on crotch grab…like he was picking oranges at the supermarket or something. While seated. Did you get that?? SEATED. I didn’t even think guys had that kind of problem while they were sitting down!
Look, I understand guys love their balls. I get it. They’re like fuzzy little stress reliever squishies. Fine. Well, I think exfoliating my feet is a stress reliever, but you don’t see me giving myself a pedicure in the office, clipping my gangly toenails all over the place.
So yeah, while potentially losing my job sucks, losing the people I work with is pretty awesome.
Quick physical description: Richard is 52 years old, very Irish, gawky skinny and has a face that looks like it was set on fire and put out with an ice pick. What makes him creepier is the fact that he can’t help but play with his balls whenever he talks to me. I’ve made a mental note of it: He doesn’t do it when he talks to anyone else. But with me? Man, he’s one nut shy of a full-on juggling act.
It not only grosses me out, but it infuriates me. There’s absolutely no reason for it. And just yesterday, while he was sitting down, facing me (spread eagle, of course), he did a full-on crotch grab…like he was picking oranges at the supermarket or something. While seated. Did you get that?? SEATED. I didn’t even think guys had that kind of problem while they were sitting down!
Look, I understand guys love their balls. I get it. They’re like fuzzy little stress reliever squishies. Fine. Well, I think exfoliating my feet is a stress reliever, but you don’t see me giving myself a pedicure in the office, clipping my gangly toenails all over the place.
So yeah, while potentially losing my job sucks, losing the people I work with is pretty awesome.
As long as you don't lose your cynical sense of humor, and your vivid descriptive abilities- you'll be just fine.
ReplyDeleteSeated, mid-marathon sprint, doing a triple-axle at the Ice-Capades, nuts are in constant need of love and attention.
ReplyDeleteEven in the void of space, where they have no weight, I imagine Buzz would still require the occasional adjustment.