Having more than 5 of anything makes you a fanatic - unless it's plates.

It's that awkward time between Thanksgiving and New Years. A lot of suicides and a lot of breakups happen right around now. But what exactly constitutes "a lot?"

I am not against collections. What I do have a problem with is the prejudice of women and collections.

Let's face it - a guy can have a huge comic book collection, or 15 baseballs, and no one bats an eye. A woman, however, can have 16 Good Luck Trolls, or 23 candles or 37 cats and suddenly, she's a "Crazy Lady" (heavy quotey fingers). Add the factoid that said woman is also single, and you can bet the neighbors won't let their kids stop by her house as they go trick-or-treating.

What if I really like unicorns? Maybe I want to stock up on apple cinnamon candles in case the electricity goes out...for months? And dogs are social creatures, it's a fact - If I want to own 63 of them so they are never lonely, that's my right as a taxpayer.

So when I start collecting these things because honestly, a girl can't live on insurance and pasta alone...I don't think I should be judged harshly for it. I think I may have to put the "spin" in Spinster. I'm going to bring it back and make it cool. If George Clooney can make being a single, middle-aged man seem cool, I sure as hell can turn "spinsters" into "spinkickassters". I'm working on the name.

In other news...I went to Home Depot and got a tree. Sure, it's about as tall as I am, but you make do with what you have. 'Tis the season, and I'm just trying to make it to January 2nd.