Libera nos a malo.

We all have hangups.

When my dad was in first grade, he couldn't unbutton his peacoat and it was one of the most embarrassing moments in his life. To this day, he refuses to wear that style of coat.

I think we all have a 'peacoat' in our lives. Some have more than others. I have many. Well...I wouldn't call them peacoats. I just have pretty basic hangups.

Automatic carwashes scare the bejesus out of me. I don't know what it is; the loud sounds, the slapping against the car, the inability to see...ugh. Just thinking about it gives me the willies. I feel like I'm in the Bronx and fifteen million homeless drug addicts are trying to wash my car with spit and hankies - simultaneously.

Bugs. The real reason I don't kill bugs isn't because I'm a Buddhist; it's because I'm crazy-afraid I'll miss the squish and they'll jump directly into my mouth. When I was younger, the reason I didn't kill them was because I was terrified they'd bite me through my shoe. Now, obviously, I know better.

Oatmeal-raisin cookies. Whenever I see a plate of cookies, I am always highly suspicious of the 'chocolate chip' ones. I have bitten into more oatmeal raisin cookies with excited anticipation, thinking they were chocolate chip than the Duggar family has kids. I hate them. They piss me off. (I'm back to the cookies...not the Duggars) And I will not let down my guard again. Ever.

Thunder. For as tough as I try to be for the dog, I want to pee my pants and hide under the sheets whenever there's a thunder storm. Every time there is a flash, I start counting so I know how close it is. And I always think it's too close. Always.

And finally, my # 1 hang-up has got to be flushing toilets in other people's houses. When I was little, I would be at a friend's house and use their toilet, and never flush. I was afraid it wouldn't flush, or that it would overflow. So, to avoid that fear, I just wouldn't flush at all. Problem solved. To this day, whenever I'm over someone's house and I use their bathroom, I get really twitchy at that final moment. I get that little argument inside my head - "flush...don't flush. Go ahead, flush it. No, no, I can't." Most times, Adult Me reasons it's fine, people do it all the time...and I flush. But every once in awhile, maybe one out of every 11 times, I leave a little DNA gift for the homeowner. No need to send a thank you. You're welcome.